Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize