I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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