hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
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