I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize