never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka?
Forever.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize