I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize