hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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