...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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