dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize