yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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