so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
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not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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