that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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