He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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