I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize