At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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