he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize