Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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