is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize