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He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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