I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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