she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
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