I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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