So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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