I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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