I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Drunk is not a location!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize