Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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