I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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