I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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