why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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