I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if only i could text you this smell
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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