when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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