I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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