By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
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SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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