Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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