Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize