After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my being single is dangerous.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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