wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize