Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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