All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i would punch a child for taco bell
i barfeds in our rink
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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