wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize