dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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