so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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