his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize