woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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