I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize