Me too!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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