I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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