if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize