whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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