last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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